Moving along

Today I am back to work after 2 days off. I certainly want to keep up to the usual, but I really don't want to work night shifts right now. Obviously sleep is difficult and trying to sleep in a bed other than your own at home makes it harder. LOL

Today is a alright day. My brain is busy trying to think of all the worst case scenarios it can, even while trying to think of positive things. Tried a bit of meditating so that I could focus on just one thing, one pleasant thing, even if it is nothing. Tried being the operative word. I think I managed about 1 minute today, so tomorrow I will try to make it to 2 minutes of meditation with visualization. :D

So, now my focus is again on mundane things like cleaning up the house, putting the dirity dishes in the dishwasher and the clean ones in the cupboards. LOL Maybe I will get that completed tomorrow, or maybe I will nap all day, who knows. It never ceases to amaze me the way the brain works to keep you going, to keep you from totally obsessing about stressful things in your life. And then when you least expect it, something reminds you of what you are worried about and it all comes flooding back for a bit. And then your brain is back to dealing with the mundane again. I am becoming a fan of the mundane again, not so worried that anything out of the ordinary will happen, just happy the typical things continue. Those are the important things....I will remind myself the next time I feel bored cuz nothing new has happened.

Family, friends and others are rallying around, and that is warming my heart. I would rather be the person warming someone else's hard time, but we don't always get what we want, the way we want them. There are two parts of me, one is calm and accepting of events, and the other is wildly screaming "no way!!". Today I am not sure if one is stronger than the other, but I am leaning toward the calm part being a bit more present. That is a good thing, hard to function when the noisy part drowns out all the mundane stuff.

I am off to work in a little bit, wish me a quiet brain when I lay down to sleep tonight.